Thinking of you this Mother’s Day
A Mother’s Love
In October of 2009 we were shocked to learn that we were expecting triplet boys. The news brought the eventuality of bedrest, NICU, and the like. In spite of all the risks associated with a multiple pregnancy, we never even considered the possibility of a loss. We were in good hands, we were being watched carefully, and there was no reason to believe that something would go wrong. Until it did.
At 32 weeks and 5 days, I went in for a routine check, and we were given the devastating news that Baby B’s heart had stop beating. In an instant our life changed. We went from anticipating the arrival of three beautiful boys, to mourning the loss of one, and praying like mad for the other two.
Later that same day, all three boys had to be delivered. It was the most bittersweet moment of our lives. Hearing Adler and Cameron cry and seeing their tiny pink bodies was a joy, but feeling Boe being pulled from my body silent and still was heartbreaking. So many emotions and thoughts ran through my mind. How could the other two be here, be alive, and not Boe? How could we have made it this far for this to be the result?
In the days that followed, we were so fortunate to be surrounded by family and friends-people who were there for us in our darkest days. We were also fortunate to be provided with amazing resources to aid in the grieving process. How would we parent the beautiful daughter we already had at home? How would we parent Boe’s surviving brothers while mourning his death? How would we parent the unexpected child who came 18 months after Boe left us? These resources helped. The Balancing Life and Loss: Parenting After Loss Support Group, offered by Forever Footprints, was a huge part of our grief journey. I found comfort sitting with other women who, different as their stories and journeys may be, were right there with me. We were all there for each other, to raise each other up and to laugh, cry, and speak our children’s names aloud so they knew their short lives mattered.
Help Forever Footprints support mothers like Kirsten. We need your support.
or text the dollar amount you wish to donate to 714-831-5011
Thank you to our Memory Box Volunteers
Several years ago, Forever Footprints learned that families at many Orange County hospitals did not receive memory boxes. Worse yet, we heard stories of families being sent home with their baby’s precious memories in empty milk containers, torn paper bags, or used boxes.
We immediately went into action, purchasing memory boxes and supplies. And an amazing group of volunteers has lovingly decorated more than 400 memory boxes that have gone directly to families who have had a baby die in pregnancy or infancy.
Erin, Eve, Becca, Lindsay, we are so grateful for your dedication and love to Forever Footprints and all the families we serve. Thank you for all you do.
If you would like to make a donation toward our memory box program, please visit Our Donation Website or email kvonrotz@foreverfootprints.org. We are in need of supplies to continue this program and would be so grateful for your financial support.
My miscarriage
When I suffered my first miscarriage at 8 weeks gestation, I did not know what to think, I did not know where to turn. So many thoughts rushed through my head… Why did this happen?…How did this happen?…What did I do wrong?…Is there a problem?…How can I fix the problem? I was so focused on what was wrong that I did not even give myself the chance to grieve the loss of my baby. My doctor told me it was a “blessing in disguise.” There was obviously “something wrong” with the baby and “nature was taking its course” in terminating the pregnancy. I had to suffer the painful experience of returning all the maternity clothes I had just bought.
I was thrilled when I learned I was pregnant again, just 7 months later. I thought, a miscarriage could not possibly happen again. I had a first ultrasound. The ultrasound tech said nothing. The silence was palpable. I never thought the sound of silence could be so painful. I knew what was going on, and yet I said nothing. When I received a phone call from my doctor, who asked me to come into the office as soon as possible, I knew what was coming. I again had to suffer the painful experience of returning all the maternity clothes I had just repurchased.
So what should you say to someone that has suffered a miscarriage? Please do not say it is a blessing in disguise. Please do not say there was probably something wrong with the baby. Please do not say that it is simply nature taking its course. Please do not say that you will forget all this when you have your baby. Please do not remind me that I am still young enough to get pregnant again. Although all these thoughts are well-intentioned, they are fraught with an underlying current that this is something I simply need to get over. I will never “get over” having my miscarriages.
All you need to say to someone who has suffered a miscarriage is “I am sorry for your loss.” It is as simple as that. It is exactly what the women at the clothing store said to me when I returned my maternity clothes.
October 15th Ceremony
Forever Footprints Programs
Support Programs
Each day, hour, and even minute, a member of your community experiences a loss of a baby. Sadly, most areas are greatly lacking the support and assistance these parents, siblings, grandparents, and friends need in dealing with their heartache. Forever Footprints is working each day to fill that gap. Through our various programs, we strive to connect these hurting families to support that will offer them understanding and aid as they navigate through the journey ahead of them.
Forever Footprints Support Groups
The Balancing Life & Loss: Parenting After Loss Group is a free support group that addresses the needs of bereaved parents who, after a tragic loss, need to continue living and parenting their surviving children.
The Coping With Loss: Helping Families With The Loss Of A Child Through Miscarriage, Stillbirth, and Early Infancy Group is a free support group for bereaved parents and families who have experienced the loss of a child and need a place to help process their experience and be able to heal.
Education and Support Books Program
Our Education and Support Book Program allows us to donate books to families and hospitals. We offer several books specifically for mothers, fathers, grandparents and children or siblings.
Journey to Remember Program
The Journey to Remember Program is a perinatal comfort care program created to provide a safe and nurturing environment for families who wish to carry to term despite a life-limiting or fatal diagnosis. We provide sensitive care facilitated by a labor and delivery nurse trained in bereavement with personal experience in perinatal loss during the pregnancy, delivery, and follow up bereavement support for the years to come.
Memory Box Program
The Memory Box Program allows us to donate memory boxes to families and hospitals. The boxes are used as a home for keepsakes and photos for anyone who has experienced a pregnancy or infant loss.
Remembrance Basket Program
Our Remembrance Basket Program allows us to donate Moses baskets to funeral homes and hospitals. The baskets are used by hospitals so they have a loving way to transport these special babies with dignity and grace. The baskets are also used for families who want to spend time with their baby and for photographs.
Sibling to Remember Program
Our Sibling to Remember Program helps big brothers and sisters trying to grasp the loss of their new baby. Through a package personalized to best fit the loss and offer age-appropriate activities and guidance, the gift is intended to assist the child/children in understanding their own grief, that of their families, and the sudden changes in their family dynamics.