Yesterday, so many memories were made at the 9th Annual 5K Walk. We remembered our babies, walked the steps our babies never got to take, and celebrated the huge impact they continue to make on our lives. If you took pictures, we would love to see them! Have a favorite memory from October 5th? We want to hear about that too! Please email kfuruta@ocwalktoremember.org and we will make a special post here on our blog!
What does the OC Walk to Remember do throughout the year? With the 9th Annual 2013 OC Walk To Remember Memorial Service, 5K Walk and Celebration of Angels event just around the corner, we want to fill you in on all the wonderful things that have gone on this past year. First off, thank you to each and every one of you because this organization is powered by volunteers and families. You are part of the OC Walk to Remember family. There is something really special that the community gives each other when they work together, talk to each other, and collaborate.
Meet Angie Bailey, a volunteer who has taken on a new role for OC Walk to Remember as Director of Community Education. In 2010, Angie silently gave birth to her first child, Aiden Kenneth Bailey. He was full term and the pregnancy was healthy and uneventful. Aiden was perfect in every way, no reason was ever found for why he was born still. She and her husband continue to mourn their loss every day. Since losing Aiden, working with families grieving the loss of a child has become her passion. Before moving into her current position, she began working with the OC Walk to Remember in 2011 organizing volunteers for their annual 5k walk.
Tell us about being Director of Community Education. Why is this role so important?
I took on my volunteer position of Director of Community Education in November 2012. Kristyn approached me with this opportunity and together we came up with my duties. Which mainly consists of the planning and implementation of educating the medical community. I visit OB/GYN offices and meet with doctor’s and their staff to teach them about resources that are available to their patients and ways to better care for women during and after the loss of a baby. I also visit nursing schools and attend teaching seminars for nurses and other hospital staff. Since the organization first began, OC Walk to Remember has had strong relationships with local labor & delivery and neonatal intensive care units. This is the first time we have made such connections within medical offices. It’s so important that we continue to educate outside of just the hospitals because doctor’s offices see the most broad types of losses, not every woman who endures the loss of a baby is treated in a hospital.
My husband and I got married March 5th 2011. We knew we wanted to start a family and knew we would need assistance in doing so due to my health history. I was diagnosed at 18 with stage 4 endometriosis and chronic ovarian cysts. After months of fertility treatments we became pregnant. Sadly we miscarried shortly after. We continued our journey, crushed but not fully aware of the true ache that would consume us. We became pregnant again after another round of treatment.
This pregnancy seemed to be going well and then one Sunday I woke up to bleeding and abdominal cramping. We shortly lost that baby too. A year of more painful fertility treatments passed with nothing to show but empty arms and heavy hearts. We decided to try again and this time became pregnant with twins. Grace and Wyatt. We were beyond hopeful but still so full of fear. We had lost all of our prior pregnancies so we cautiously watched the days pass. The babies looked wonderful and we had a due date of December 21 2012. We couldn’t have been happier.
On July 16th our happiness turned into terror. We had a routine Dr. visit. It was discovered that I was having contractions and that my cervix was too weak to support a pregnancy. We pleaded for a cerclage, a stitch that is sewn into the cervix. It helps to support the weight and prevent shortening. It doesn’t promise anything but it can provide a few more weeks. Our team sadly refused to place the stitch. We were heartbroken. We were sent home on strict bed rest, and medications. One week later my cervix went from 2.5 to .98. We were devastated. The team still didn’t have any options for us besides continuing bed rest and hoping we made it to viability. We were 17 weeks at the time. We would have done anything to bring our babies home safely so I never once complained about being bed ridden or my lack of control. I relied on my husband, family and amazing friends for everything. I was allowed to shower every 3 days, but had to remain sitting and had to be quick. The days passed and we were getting closer to viability.
Hello there! I’m Holly Waterfall, and I write for the blog Happy Food Healthy Life, where I normally share food, eating disorder, positive body image, and health related issues. I am a recovered eating disorder sufferer, and I strive to share my experiences, thoughts, and inspiration with others who may be struggling. Lately, I have kind of veered from the norm and have been writing about a topic that has been effecting me personally. There have been a lot of pregnancy/IVF/Loss topics come up in my life that I have shared with my readers, and when I was contacted by OC Walk To Remember to share my story of loss and hope, I thought that I must get my feelings out. You see, I lost my baby only a couple weeks ago, and the emotions are still so raw.
My wife, Tiffani and I have gone through quite a roller coaster to get to where we are today. It hasn’t been a fun one, to say the least. Here is how we started and where we are now.
Back at the beginning of this year of 2013, Tiffani and I decided that we wanted to expand our family. I have a 7 year old son from a previous relationship, but this was something new that my wife and I wanted and still do to bond over and experience together. And besides, Tiff wanted to have a little one that was directly related to her. The thing is, she didn’t want to be pregnant. Good thing I have no problems being pregnant! So, we decided to do something that is so awesome and the best of both worlds for a lesbian couple. After months of preparing emotionally, physically, and financially, we went through a reciprocal IVF cycle in July 2013. We harvested 14 of Tiff’s eggs, used an anonymous donor (only 6 fertilized successfully), and were able to transfer the best looking little guy to me on July 26th. 10 days of waiting for that first blood test was brutal, but we made it through.
We would like to incorporate memories of your baby or babies in a video that will be shown online and at the event. If you would like to participate, please send a photograph of your baby or of something representing your baby (such as their footprints, a meaningful quote, their name, etc.) Please resend even if you participated and sent something last year.
The video/photos will be shared publicly, so please be aware of that. Pictures must be high resolution. Please submit no more than 10 words. You may submit a photo and wording. Due to space limitations we can only accept one memorial per family/child. Send submissions to: video@ocwalktoremember.org
* Please know our goal is to use all submissions and will do our best to include all that are sent.
As we prepared for the arrival of our 2nd daughter, Rylie Krystine, the thought of still-birth never crossed my mind. I never imagined our “hello” would be “goodbye”.
I absolutely LOVED being pregnant. I did everything right…got early prenatal care and ate right. My daughter, Rayna was 3 and could not wait to be a big sister.
On Tuesday, December 21, 1999 at 37 weeks gestation, Rayna and I saw Rylie was moving around and waving “hi” as the ultrasound tech scanned my belly. The tech confirmed that Rylie was still a girl and gave us a few pictures to take home. Life was picture perfect.
Then, without warning, my dream turned into a nightmare. I woke up the morning of December 22nd like any other day. We had breakfast and got ready for the day, which included my weekly doctor’s appointment. As Rayna and I waited in the waiting room for our turn, I couldn’t remember when I felt Rylie move last. Then, I heard my name. As we walked back to do the routine weight check and urine sample, I mentioned to the medical assistant that I don’t think I felt Rylie move that morning. She smiled and said “I am sure everything is fine. The doctor will be in with you shortly.” and walked out closing the door behind her. The physician assistant came in shortly after and when I asked where my doctor was. She said, “Oh he’s busy, lay back and let’s hear this baby’s heart tones.” As I laid back and my belly shifted the PA joked “oh this baby is a mover.” Then, placed the doppler on my belly. She moved it around and around trying to get the tones and continued to make comments like, “Well, if I didn’t just see your belly move, I would be worried.” At this time, I was starting to panic. She had me walk to another room where the ultrasound machine was and said, “I am sure baby is just laying with her back to us, so I just want to show you for peace of mind that everything is ok.” As soon as the ultrasound wand hit my belly, I started crying. The PA didn’t say anything and continued to scan and then said, “I am going to send you next door to labor and delivery. Their ultrasound machine is better than this one. Is there anyone you would like for me to call.” My head was spinning, tears were falling, and Rayna was squeezing my hand asking if everything was ok with her baby sister.
When we got to the hospital (next door) I was “greeted” by a lady asking, “Oh are you the one with the fetal demise?” I was caught off guard and said, “No, the PA at my doctor’s office sent me over here because she couldn’t detect the heartbeat.” The nurse then lead me to a room and told me an ultrasound tech would be in shortly. My husband at the time showed up with my dad, who took Rayna for us. We sat in that room for what seemed like an eternity (it was about 45 minutes) before the tech came in. She scanned my belly and didn’t say a word. When we asked her to tell us ANYTHING she said the doctor will be in shortly. Again, we were left sitting, not knowing, and waiting…and waiting. Another 35 minutes pass and the phone in the room rings. The nurse comes in and says, “That’s the doctor, he wants to speak with you.” She hands me the phone.
Yesterday, so many memories were made at the 9th Annual 5K Walk. We remembered our babies, walked the steps our babies never got to take, and celebrated the huge impact they continue to make on our lives. If you took pictures, we would love to see them! Have a favorite memory from October 5th? We want to hear about that too! Please email kfuruta@ocwalktoremember.org and we will make a special post here on our blog!
