My story of Pregnancy and Infant Loss
August 2010 we found out we were expecting. We were so excited yet nervous. Ten months prior we lost our baby London at 16 weeks. It was considered a “Missed Miscarriage.” Her heart simply stopped beating. When we went into our first ultrasound we were shocked to see not one but two little heart beats. We were having twins! They were identical and shared a placenta. Everything seemed to go well. Weeks were flying by, and we were planning our lives to soon welcome two baby boys. We picked their names: Wyatt Ward Hidy and Hunter Allen Hidy. On Friday, December 17th, we went in for our 24 week check up. Their heart beats were great, but I complained of some mild back pain and what seemed like me peeing myself a little from time to time. It was written off that it was from carrying two and it would most like get worse when I got bigger. Friday night was a long night, my lower back was killing me, and I couldn’t get comfortable. Saturday morning we decided to go to labor and delivery to get checked out. Driving there that morning I had no idea our world was about to change forever.
As we checked into the L&D floor they quickly checked my cervix and tested to see if I was leaking amniotic fluid. As they were checking the babies via ultrasound the nurse came in and told us we were indeed leaking fluid and I would be admitted to hospital bedrest until the babies were born. It was a complete blur. I was terrified, willing to do anything possible to keep them safe. The rest of the day was filled with tests, with laying with my feet above my head, and lots of praying. Sunday came and so did the contractions. I labored mostly in my back and it was continuous pain. My husband and parents tried to do there best to get me comfortable for the night. By midnight on December 20 my contractions were minutes apart, as I tried to sit up from my bed my water fully broke. Seconds later Wyatt was born at 12:20am. He was perfect. My husband cut his cord and the nurses wrapped him up and told me to keep him warm because it wouldn’t last. He fought so hard but minutes later took his last breath in my arms. I was bleeding heavy and Hunter was not in the right position to deliver naturally. I was wheeled into the operating room were Hunter was born at 1:30am and pasted away before I woke up. I remember waking up to a room full of family, and holding my sweet boys in my arms, I got to love and kiss on them. My family got to meet them, hold them, take pictures and say goodbye.
A few hours past and I began to hemorrhage. In the early hours of the morning a “code white” was called and I was prepped for emergency surgery, to either try and get the bleeding to stop or do a full hysterectomy. I was numb, cold, and going in and out of consciousness. It all felt like a dream. The surgery worked and my doctor was able to save my uterus with a balloon device to hold it stable. I had to receive four bags of blood, and I remained in the hospital for a few days and was released on Christmas Eve. Days prior, I arrived at the hospital with two babies but left with empty arms and a broken heart.
Losing Wyatt and Hunter was the hardest thing I have ever gone through, but they have made me the person I am today. They are my best memory. I share our story to help other parents walking this heartbreaking path of pregnancy and infant loss. It’s been almost five years since I held my babies in my arms. God healed the wound but left the scar. What gives me peace is knowing all they knew was love. The took their last breath in my arms and opened their eyes to the face of Jesus.
If you would like to share your birth story, email kvonrotz@foreverfootprints.org