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Spring Will Come

This is a season of new life.  Spring is my favorite season of the year with freshly bloomed flowers spotting the green earth.  Bees and butterflies dance and flutter in the breeze.  I love the sound and smell of light showers falling from full clouds.  Near my town, there are hills painted with bright poppies with the roadside littered with parked cars where people snap pictures of the beautiful scenery.  I love this season because it reminds me of hope and a new beginning. Over the past year, I have been slowly adapting to my new life as a bereaved mother.  I’m getting used to the unfamiliar colors, sounds, and smells.  Each day I embrace unique experiences.  All the while, with my daughter in my heart and mind, a greater purpose for this season has risen.  I never thought I could be like this.  I thought my life was forever doomed for a bleak, lifeless existence. You see, another valuable lesson has erupted from the ashes.  There is a time to mourn, but there is also a time to rejoice.  “But, Kaitlin, how can you rejoice after losing your daughter?!”  Seems crazy, I know, but I do rejoice in my new life.  I belong to a close community, yet at the same time Wendy gave me a perspective of life like I’ve never known.  I have started to think for myself and take care of myself more deliberately.  I have gained a better appreciation for my friends, family, and especially my husband.  Yes, I see the world in different colors, and they are more vibrant than I could have...

Wyatt and Hunter’s Birth Story

My story of Pregnancy and Infant Loss August 2010 we found out we were expecting. We were so excited yet nervous. Ten months prior we lost our baby London at 16 weeks. It was considered a “Missed Miscarriage.” Her heart simply stopped beating. When we went into our first ultrasound we were shocked to see not one but two little heart beats. We were having twins! They were identical and shared a placenta. Everything seemed to go well. Weeks were flying by, and we were planning our lives to soon welcome two baby boys. We picked their names: Wyatt Ward Hidy and Hunter Allen Hidy. On Friday, December 17th, we went in for our 24 week check up. Their heart beats were great, but I complained of some mild back pain and what seemed like me peeing myself a little from time to time. It was written off that it was from carrying two and it would most like get worse when I got bigger. Friday night was a long night, my lower back was killing me, and I couldn’t get comfortable. Saturday morning we decided to go to labor and delivery to get checked out. Driving there that morning I had no idea our world was about to change forever. As we checked into the L&D floor they quickly checked my cervix and tested to see if I was leaking amniotic fluid. As they were checking the babies via ultrasound the nurse came in and told us we were indeed leaking fluid and I would be admitted to hospital bedrest until the babies were born. It was a...

Peyton’s Birth Story

  I had dreamed of writing my birth story through my whole pregnancy, I never dreamed that it would be like this. This blog is to document our journey through this tragedy and into the rest of our lives. Peyton changed the course of our lives forever, so I couldn’t see another way to start it than with the story of his birth. I woke up on Monday, October 24th and I knew something wasn’t right- but I didn’t want to acknowledge it. I knew I hadn’t really felt him move in my sleep. It was the first day I was home alone on bed rest and Mark had gone back to work, so I told myself I was being paranoid. I tried to continue my day, but I was always waiting for a kick. I would poke him or lie on my side, and when I started to get really worried I took a bath- he always kicked in the bath. When I saw my reflection in the mirror I knew I looked different, from that moment on I was really hiding from a horrible fear. I wasn’t swollen looking anymore- I looked back to normal but with a huge belly. My ring that hadn’t fit on my finger in 3 weeks fit me. I still tried the bath, not willing to admit that I knew deep down it wouldn’t work. After the bath I went on the couch, lied down and closed my eyes, I thought if I devoted all my attention to him he would move. When I was on the couch my mom came over...